Sparkles and shine: they really are what set apart fancy from every-day. Everything here has some sort of sheen to it, and the effect is high-class glamour. When you have such elegant pieces, you don't need many of them--only one piece of jewelry, thank you very much. I love the simplicity of this outfit. I also love that the design of the shoes mirrors that of the dress. We'll call this one, "High Class Hottie."
If there is one thing that makes any day brighter, it is getting one's hair done. I did this last week, finally using 1/2-off coupons I've had in my dresser for ages. Still, after full highlights, a toner, a deep-conditioning treatment, and a trim, I ended up down $130. But it was worth every penny. Never skimp on highlights or heels. And now, even though I have yet to shower and do my hair (first day off for a week), I still feel glamourous. I can't help but watch my hair reflect the light when I walk past a mirror. I almost want to exclaim, "Dang, I look good!"
Hey, at least I admit it.
Well, Carrie is trying to "get over" Aidan, which consists of her pretty much living her life as before with the occasional droopy lip and hog-wash romantic thought about what a great love Aidan was for her. Blah. I don't believe a word of it. But, moving on. Aidan tells her she has 30 days to buy her apartment or move out. Savings-less, she first asks Big for a loan, and he gives it to her. But she tears up the check, not wanting to be indebted to him. Then Charlotte, after much drama, decides to give Carrie her wedding ring (worth the measly sum of $30,000) for the down payment with the understanding that Carrie will pay her back. The latter accepts.
Carrie also brings up her father for the first time. We learn that he left Carrie and her mother when Carrie was five, and that the latter has had men issues ever since. She gets a writing job at Vogue to make money for the mortgage. When it doesn't go as easily as predicted, she wants to quit, blaming her desire on her quitting father figure. But she sticks with it. Charlotte throws a baby shower for Miranda and has a breakdown in the middle of it. Miranda starts to trust her mothering instincts. Samantha, after offering to arrange a threesome for Richard's birthday per his request, is pleasantly surprised when Richard turns her offer down, suggests the two of them become exclusive, and finally says, "I love you."
Whoa. Lots going on. The biggest issue for me here is the money thing. To go more in depth about the situation, after Carrie asks Big for the money, her friends tell her not to accept it (wise decision). Then, Samantha and Miranda both offer to loan her the money. Charlotte says nothing. Carrie says she can't accept but becomes infuriated with Charlotte, who is now living off of her ex-husband's income and doesn't even need to work, for not offering her the loan. Charlotte defends herself by saying that she doesn't want money to make their relationship weird and that it is not her responsibility to take care of Carrie financially. Carrie can't understand why, if you have the money and your best friend doesn't, you would give some of it up freely. Carrie says she would. Eventually, as I've said, Charlotte grants the loan.
This is a really big issue. Let me just say that I would not give the loan either. Rather, if I were swimming in money, I would hope that I would give the money as a gift. This is not because I am extremely generous. It's because every financial advice I've ever read (surprisingly, a lot, considering) in the world would say never to loan money to anyone, period. If you have the money to give, give it, and make sure the person understands that it's a gift. They all say it's the only way to keep the relationship the same.
If you loan the money, the loaner will feel indebted to you in every interaction. She will feel pressure to pay you back soon to relieve the owing guilt, but when she can't, she'll avoid you in order not to feel the pressure. It makes perfect sense to me. Heck, I don't even keep track when I buy a friend a coffee. I don't want to think that the person owes me; that doesn't make me happy, either. I also don't think I would take a loan from anyone but my parents for the same reason--not even my sisters. It just makes things complicated. People and money are a strange, strange mix.
Take my mother and uncle. My uncle is brilliant. He graduated from Harvard at age 19 and possesses five specialties in the medical field. Because he is so good at what he does (pathology, mainly), he is asked all of the time to testify for cases dealing with child abuse around the United States. He has so many Southwest miles that he nearly always flies for free. This all said, he is a self-declared money disaster. No one really knows why or what he does with his money, because he lives modestly. But he never has enough.
Enter my mother. My parents, both doctors, have always been pretty good with their money. They've invested in a lot of property and land over the years, and they have a great accountant. So guess who my uncle is always calling for loans? He always promises to pay my mother back, but he never does. And my mother always promises never to loan money to him again, but she always does. It's a vicious cycle. It has gotten so bad that my uncle will sometimes talk to me about his money problems (or even have his daughter call me to talk about them) in the hopes that I can have some influence on my mother. My mother doesn't want to talk about it, because she cries.
I hope never to be in their situation. The loan just keeps growing, and it will never get paid back. I have no doubt about that. I know my mother feels disappointed, and I know my uncle feels sheepish, even if he's now dependent on it. I can't help but feel that it could all have been stopped by my mother either giving the money as gift when she could (and wanted to) and just saying no any other time.
The situation actually makes me glad I don't have a lot of money. It reminds me of that song, "Mo' Money Mo' Problems:" "I don't know what they want from me. It's like the more money I come across, the more problems I see." Good ol' Jay Z. I don't think money is bad. Don't get me wrong. But it definitely can create bad complications. I understand how both Charlotte and Carrie feel. If I had a ton of money, and my friend was in trouble or visa versa, it would be difficult to know what to do. Like I said, I would give the money as a gift. I would also take a gift of money if I had no other options, was desperate like Carrie (I don't even see taking an ex-boyfriend's cash as an option), and knew that my friend/sister/etc had the money to spare. But there's always a chance a person (even me) could become dependent upon asking--like my uncle and mother. That's scary. And it's such a fine line.
Well, here's to matters of money and the heart. Let them mix as seldom as possible. I hope you'll be back. I will.
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