Normally I belt a dress like this. However, it seemed to have enough shape to leave a belt out. I love this bag. I won't be buying it, probably ever, but it's freakin cute and very versatile. I also love the Havianas sandals, which I DO plan on buying this summer. The button-up is meant to be worn like a cardigan, unbuttoned and tied in the front for a carefree, summer, day or evening look. Since we're also layering the necklaces, we'll call it, "Layer Up Baby, It's Warm Outside."
Well, Carrie moves in with Aidan and gets engaged (man, a lot can happen in two episodes). She sees a ring in Aidan's bag before he pops the question, so she has lots of time to think about how to answer. She wonders if hesitation is good, if he's the right guy, etc. But when he asks, all her analysis flies out the window, and she says yes. After the engagement, however, the couple begins to fight for space in the tiny apartment, resulting in a huge blow-out. Eventually, Carrie especially realizes that she doesn't need the space that she thought, and the couple makes peace. Samantha falls deeper for her new boss, going against her "sex-no-feelings" policy. Miranda tells Steve about the baby, and the two decide to raise it together without being together. Charlotte and Trey are at each others' throats about getting pregnant. At one point, Trey asks, "When does a marriage get easier?" Hormonally imbalanced Charlotte blames Trey for not trying, and Trey tells her he no longer wants a baby. Chralotte retreats to her friends, planning things with them and telling Trey he's not invited. Trey gets her a cardboard baby as a joke, which spirals the couple into emotional warfare.
The timing of these episodes was scary. Hank and I watched them late last night, as a sort of way to calm down after our own battle. It went like this. Hank came home from school. I was practicing the piano and gave him a quick kiss. We chatted. He asked how my day was. I told him, and I also told him that two gals from work wanted to go to dinner on Thursday night. He asked why I didn't invite him. I said that I was just going to go with the girls. He got sad and accused me of pulling away and being unaffectionate, saying it had been going on for months. I told him he was overreacting, and that I just wanted to nurture some new friendships here and needed social time apart from him. It spiraled, and before I knew it we were arguing about who was going to go take a walk first to get away from the other (which, I might add, Carrie and Aidan recreated perfectly in the episode) and whether or not we were good together. In a moment of complete frustration, I uttered the "b" word, which made everything worse.
Now, this is not our first fight, but it was one of the few where we just came to a stalemate. There didn't seem to be any reason for the fight, well not any huge reason. Yes, I had planned a dinner with friends and hadn't invited him. But it was much more. Fights usually are. Since there was no concrete reason, there wasn't a concrete solution. I ended up saying I was sorry for not being more affectionate. Even though I felt like I was being normal, I grew up with parents who barely touched each other, so maybe my perspective was skewed. I also stayed firm in my belief that social time apart (girls or guys night out, if you will) is a good thing in a relationship, and I thought he should be striving for that a little too. He said he didn't want to, so why should I? In the end, though, he respected my need to spend time with just the gals, and we came to an agreement that if he wanted to go, he needed to say something, but that sometimes I would go without him, and he would be okay with it. I would also try to be more affectionate with him (even if I'm tired) at the end of the day. It was easy enough, but the fight lasted for hours, with two walking breaks in between (first his, then mine with Bela).
The reason I divulge all of this is maybe only to say that I fully understand that fights in relationships are hard. People sometimes make them sound cute ("Oh, she gets so mad when I leave the toilet seat up."), but in the moment they are anything but. They are maddening and crazy-making, and they make you want to punch the person (not that I would) and just get out of there. There's nothing fun about fighting.
The big questions for Carrie are the following: How do you know when a relationship is wrong? How do you know when it's okay? How do you know what to do? Maybe nobody knows. Either somehow you find a way, like Carrie and Aidan in the episode and Hank and I last night, to apologize and move on, or you don't. Trying to move on is all anyone can do. There has to be enough good stuff to make you want to do that. Even though I may feel really down about Hank and I in those bad moments, when they pass, I'm able to reconnect with what's good. That's what keeps it worth it for me.
In relationships like Charlotte and Trey's, there are often irreconcilable differences (pardon the expression, but it's pretty accurate) of values and needs. He doesn't want kids, and she does. Someone has to give up something pretty big in order for that to work, and sometimes the sacrifice is too much. It's not a matter of just getting some air for an hour or getting a good night's sleep. It's about life goals.
Conflict in relationships seems like a give and take, a balance between two questions: What can I give up in this situation, and what do I need to fight for? It's a really hard question.
Well, off to bed. It's 9:00pm, the witching hour. I can't believe this is my bedtime, but more than that, I can't believe how tired I am and how bed sounds really good right now. I hope you'll be back. I will.
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