Day 33: Rock That Body, Baby

This dress is magical, really. Before coming up with this outfit, I paired the dress with four different sets of shoes, bags, and jewelry. All combinations looked fabulous, if I do say so myself. For a formal but not too formal affair--think brunch with the in-laws or a bridal shower--you could wear soft pink peep-toes with a simple coin purse in a similar color and a cream shawl. For a fancier event like a wedding, pair it with heeled, gold strappy sandals, a sparkly gold clutch, and a "fur" coat. The ensemble pictured here was the edgiest one I came up with. I love it, because it takes the red of the dress and runs with it. I'm calling it "Date Night Daring." You would never know there's a frilly, flowery, girly dress hiding behind all those Don't F*&^ With Me accessories.

I got a job. Just putting that out there right away. I don't know what it is yet, but I will know by tonight. After four months of searching, the employments gods are shining their weary faces upon me and giving me a chance to earn some dough--actually five chances. In the span of two days, I have encountered FIVE new job opportunities.

On Tuesday, I taught my first piano student (Job Opp. #1) after interviewing at a well known department store. On wednesday, I was offered the retail job (Opp. #2) and later met with a tutoring service to begin paperwork for a position helping college students with their ESL homework (Opp. #3). Today, I have an interview with a language school to be their primary administrative assistant. (I may or may not get offered a job. If I do, that's Opp. #4.) As I was preparing for this meeting this morning, a local wine and food emporium called, asking me to be their cashier--yes, that's the same position that I was overqualified for a week ago...What a difference a week makes (Opp. #5).

So. Hmm. I am thankful and overwhelmed. While waiting to make a decision feels stressful, no matter what happens, I will hopefully not be searching Craig's List for a long while. Thank God. Literally.

Miranda: "Do you have a rolling pin?"

Carrie: "On me?"

Miranda: "In your kitchen?"

Carrie: "Are you kidding me? I use my oven for storage."

Subject: women's self esteem and body issues. Today's episode might be the most relevant one out there. Carrie meets Big's new wife in a fitting room, coming face-to-face with Natasha's tall, slender figure. Carrie proceeds to develop an inferiority complex. Then, she gets a thank you note from Natasha for attending a luncheon in which the latter has spelled "there" as "their." Carrie revels in being better than Natasha at something. Miranda hires a conservative housekeeper who tries to rid the house of sin--subbing Miranda's tea for coffee, hiding her vibrator, etc. Eventually Miranda reads her the riot act, and the housekeeper makes an offering of peace--a plate full of condoms by the bed. Charlotte hates her thighs but forces herself to go naked in a women's sauna. She feels glorious when a woman compliments her for having perfect breasts. Samantha books a massage appointment with a guy she hears performs sexual favors. When he fails to deliver, Samantha makes a move. Faced with being banned from the spa, she rats him out, leading to his being fired and making her much hated among her fellow female spa-goers.

How any of the four characters can have body issues is beyond me, but I think the episode illustrates something powerful about the female experience. When it comes to women and their bodies, we're our worst critics. We may know that there is no perfect body out there, but it doesn't make swimsuit season any easier. Even though we realize that perfect is relative, we always find a way to focus on what could be better about ourselves--what's not right. Just last week I was reading Glamour, and SJP was talking about how she refuses to wear shorts and turtlenecks. I immediately thought, "Great. If she can't wear shorts, who can?"

Like many women, I've had body issues my entire life. I think I inherited them from my mother, who was always complaining about how fat she was and how much she needed to lose weight. It was kind of fun to be in her 'club,' talking about dieting and bodies. I started dieting with her when I was 13. (I do not recommend the grapefruit diet.) I didn't really even know why I hated my body, but I did.

While I've come to terms with my figure--I am an hourglass, and I will always have big hips, so I might as well take advantage of them--I still find myself fretting. Like Charlotte, I hate my thighs. When I look at my legs, I only see cellulite. For that reason, I will not wear skirts that hit mid-thigh. Ever. I wear shorts only around the house. On the rare past occasions that I wore something shorter out in public, I thought about my legs 40% of the time, which was no fun at all. So I quit.

That's why, when I first met Hank and he said he loved my legs, I thought "Ah, what a little love will do." I thought he couldn't possibly be serious. My butt? Maybe. My waist? Okay, it's a good feature. My feet and hands? Now, there are my four favorite body parts. But my legs?! No way.

I still don't really believe him. However, something strange recently happened. I was leafing through pictures the other day, and I came across one I sent him of me in a bathing suit and new high heels. Wait a minute. My legs looked good. The photo was taken when I was about seven pounds lighter than now (damn co-habitation) and was running every day. At that time, though, all I could see was what was wrong with them, just like I do now. Is it really like that Baz Lehrman saying that we can only see how fabulous we looked when we're looking back? Why is it so hard to accept our bodies the way they are right now?

Maybe the trick is to look at it like Carrie finally does, taking the focus away from the body and onto more lasting traits like intelligence and personality. Perhaps the goal is to see what unique things we each have to offer the world, not in comparison to what someone else offers, but just because we're being a friend to ourselves. Speaking of which, how about trying to see ourselves the way our friends do--see the traits other women admire most in us, including things about our bodies?

Like with a certain male body part, it's not about what you have but about how you use it. Besides, in fifty years we'll all only be able to see the good stuff. Why not start now?

I hope you'll be back. I will. With a job.