There are a few things in fashion that no matter how hard I search for, I can't seem to find. For example, a little black dress. I have my go-to Susanna Monaco tube top I bought five years ago and still love. But besides that, the LBD department is hurting. I have searched for hours on the internet, browsed through hundreds of dresses, and that perfect one still proves elusive. The reasons are always changing. The skirt is too short. It looks cheap. It's perfect but too expensive. I am hoping to find one before I'm 60.
The simple, silk, slip dress has been equally difficult to hunt down but for an entirely different reason: there aren't any options. The perfect piece is a slip without all the lace and frills. It preferably comes in a color besides nude, black, and white (these just look like slips), and it has seemless/detail-free straps (again, adjustable straps give away that it's a slip). It also can't be too short.
After entering "slip dress" and "slips" on all my favorite shopping sites and then finally on google, I found a total of three candidates. Three! This one is from Avon. Avon! I would have bought it, but I'm not crazy about the color. Desperate, I found myself in Victoria's Secret the other day (the actual store for once), scouring the racks for a long slip I could get away with wearing out. Nope. So, if you find one, please save me from my fashion fixation. Until then, I'm calling this lovely evening outfit "Slip it to Me."
"(FDR was) so busy picking out a hat, he forgot to get in the war." Miranda, after Carrie remarks that all the best presidents wore hats
Carrie dates a minor political star and gets a first hand taste of political campaigning. (She also, for reasons I don't understand, feels the need to transform her entire wardrobe into Jackie-O-mania.) Things go well until Mr. Left-wing makes a sexual request: that Carrie pee on him in the shower. Gross. Needless to say, it doesn't last. Samantha dates a "very short person" (not a midget, mind you) and finds out that what he lacks in height he makes up for in the bedroom. Charlotte begins her Find a Husband campaign. She throws a party for girlfriends and the men they're no longer interested in, hoping to meet a great (second-hand) guy. She does, but his ex turns out to still be interested, too. Miranda can't decide if she wants to be exclusive with Steve and, in the name of being politically correct, decides to make a pro/con list of his traits. Her list and her doubts fly out the window when Steve says how much he loves her.
Maybe it's because America is at heart still a Puritan society, always concerned with political correctness, but as I watched this episode, I started thinking about all of the times in relationships when politics are involved. There are certain times and ways to say things--like "I love you" and "I need some space." There are certain things you can never say--like "I hate your mother." (Don't worry, sweetie, I don't.) Some things are better said right at the start, such as "I'm really not interested in peeing on you." Some things are better saved for the right moments: "Do you want to move in together?" There are rules we don't even realize exist; we just know when they've been broken. For example, there's the guy that confesses his love on the second date or the woman who just forgets to tell you she is seeing someone else.
Yes, navigating the potential political pitfalls can be difficult. For some reason I never realized this before. I always thought that, like with Miranda and Steve, if there was love between two people, all the faux-pas didn't matter. If the love wasn't there, one person could be as politically perfect as could be, and the other person wouldn't care. In essence, it was all about the love.
While I don't disagree with this now, I'm learning that even in the most love-filled unions, political correctness helps. For instance, if I tell Hank I hate his music, we have a bad night. If I tell him that I feel anxious with his music on in that moment, and can we please change the station to something we both will feel good about, and that it's completely my issue, I get a much better response. Politics, people. (You may just think it's politeness, but politeness and politics are are pretty damn similar in my book.)
Another example? Let's just hypothetically say that even though I want to meet Hank's extended family, I'm not ecstatic about attending his huge family reunion this summer. Will I go? Yes, of course. Why? Well, partly because I love him and want to make him happy, and partly because I'm asking him to go to a wedding with me in April. Really, how different is this from pleasing your constituents and making political alliances based on mutual benefits? (If you're wondering, I pulled those terms out of my ass. They're things my father is always saying. He would be proud.)
I'm not advocating dishonesty. Don't get me wrong, there's such thing as saying a bunch of words without saying anything. But being the straight-forward and intense (read: crass) person I am, I must say that even if the love is there, and you know the person would put up with you just the way you are (and he does 80% of the time), a little forethought about what you say goes a long way. Love is still the most important, but politics sure pays off.
I hope you'll be back. I will.
Don't forget the big reason why Samantha stays with the small guy, she finally found someone that can make her laugh. I think politics and politeness do go hand in hand for the most part, if it is merely based on what we say. A lot of the time I see politics as saying something not to be polite, but to get a desired result (almost on the same topic as "playing games"). Besides what we say, politics to me is doing things that you normally wouldn't to get a desired result (again, like "playing games"). Good, to the point article, unlike my comments. :)
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