In case you wanted to raise the question, "What About Men?," well here you go. (That's also the title of the ensemble, because, well, I'm lazy.) This is my tribute to the sleek-dressed male--not too preppy, not too formal, not too boring. Just casual and cool. And expensive. It is also fulfilling a promise I made to Hank--that I would include men in this fashion quest.
I am developing a purchasing theory, and it goes something like this. The more body real estate a piece takes up or the more use you need it to get, the more you should spend. Obviously, if you can find quality items for cheap, great! However, if you come across that perfect something and are wondering if it's worth the price, my theory may help. But that's just a theory.
Worth-it:
1. Everyday shoes (work or play), bags, bras, and coats. Brown Frye harness boots? Yes! Red cowboy boots? Not so much. Especially included here are things you need to pay money for to get their full function, such as waterproof raincoats, sturdy winter boots, and down parkas. Skimp on these, and you'll be sorry. I know. I'm from Montana.
2. General statement-making basics like neutral-color cashmere sweaters and little black dresses (especially ones you can layer with to wear all year long and ones that are great for packing). If it's one of the only pieces you're wearing, you want it to be good. And if you're wearing it a lot, you want it to be even better. Think about it: you could bring a great cashmere sweater on vacation and wear it every night with five different ensembles. It makes sense to spend on the sweater and save on the tanks/dresses/blouses that go under it.
Now, a note on jeans. Some say not to buy designer, because the material doesn't really change from brand to brand. First, this isn't entirely true, because some jeans are blended with varying degrees of spandex. Besides that, I can really tell the difference in fit between, say, Lucky jeans (my favorite) and a cheap pair from Wet Seal. But that's me. Cheap pairs work for some body types. Since I live in jeans and I have hips, I buy good ones and have them tailored whenever I can. It makes me feel glamourous when my jeans fit like a glove.
3. Real gold and silver, especially earrings. I confess that I love Forever 21's bangles, and I'm a sucker for cheap cocktail rings. As long as only you can see the green and are fine with it, great. But cheap earrings almost always leave an olivey haze around the earring hole. Ick.
Save It (or, Pretty Much Everything Else):
1. Anything trendy like military jackets, plaid shirts, and animal prints (or any prints for that matter). Be careful of cheap sequins and lace, though. Both don't hold up well under handling and just look, well, cheap.
2. Besides real gold and silver earrings, almost any accessory unless you plan on living in it. This includes belts, sunglasses, hats, scarves, and evening bags. For me, watches count here, but I don't wear them often. The rest of the world probably wishes I did.
3. Anything that you will not wear a lot or will by nature not last more than a few seasons, including summer dresses, flip flops, and basic tees that will discolor around the armpits. I'm tempted to add swim suits to this category, but you can usually find great quality ones for cheap (Victoria's Secret and TJ Maxx), and the fit and fabric beat out those from Target. What's more, let's face it, they take up prime real estate for us gals, so get one that looks good.
4. Anything you can get away with buying cheap without an appreciable decrease in quality. A tank is a tank, whether you buy it from Target or James Perse. And who really needs a designer tank?
So, I haven't left much room for Sex. And it's actually a Big episode, pun intended. Carrie and Big break up. That's the Big news. I'm sorry. I can't stop using that word. I will stop. Just when you think they're going to make it forever, just when they make a grand step forward, things fall apart. Big travels to Paris and tells Carrie that he may have to move there for work. He has known for a while. Carrie goes crazy, infuriated that he didn't tell her earlier nor consider her in the decision, but she tries to be optimistic. They can make it work, she tells him, and maybe she can even move there. He says that would be fine, but to move "for herself," not because she expects anything from him. She goes crazy again. She tells him she can't do it anymore, that they should stop pretending they're good together, and that if he moves, she won't follow him. He walks away.
Strangely, after Hank and I finished this episode, we just sat for a few moments in silence. It's like neither of us could really figure out what happened. I had seen it before, of course, years ago, and I remembered thinking what a cad Big was. Now, though, it all seemed so dramatic and unnecessary. I felt sorry for Big because of Carrie's flip-outs and the fact that she doesn't really ask him how he feels. However, Carrie had been holding so much back while they were dating, never revealing to him what she really wanted or felt. In that way, it was a huge relief to see her be honest and passionate towards Big about her feelings. It seemed real. Hmm. I asked Hank what he thought, who he thought was in the right. Didn't someone have to be right?
"Well I don't think Carrie should have blown up like that, throwing the food at the T.V. and all, but I think Big should have said he was more committed to her." Touche. I started thinking about what I thought they both should have done. Since we never get Big's perspective, we don't know what he was thinking, but he still didn't fight to stay with her. But why should he have to? Why was Carrie always so dissatisfied with him anyway? Was it that they just didn't mesh?
Because I like to make a decision about these sorts of things--you know, decide who's right and who's the asshole (I'm so judgmental)--I got to thinking about Hank and I, how I would feel, what I would need/want. And then it hit me. We actually had that same situation. Hank was moving to Colorado to go to med school. He had to go. Like Big, he told me to come only if I wanted, if I thought I could be happy there. But he did not say not to expect anything from him. He said the opposite--that he would do everything in his power to help me be happy there, and that he'd be by my side. He said he wanted me to come more than anything, and in the end, if he had to, he would drop out of med school and stay in Montana with me--as long as we could stay together.
After remembering this, I realized one thing. At that time, it was important, wonderful, actually, to hear all that. That's all. Maybe no one is ever all right or all wrong. Hank didn't necessarily have to say that stuff for it to work between us. I probably would have still come to Denver. But there are nice ways to do things and important things to say, and it made me feel secure. Maybe the one thing Big didn't realize is that love is more important than any job. If there's one thing I know, it's that.
I hope you'll be back. I will.
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