Day 16: Time Out for Fashion

Okay, this one is taking the name of the entry's title: "Time Out for Fashion," first because it's a little wacky (though I still love it) and second, because I don't have time to think of anything else that may be better (the whole suck at titles thing). Layer the necklaces, folks.

I don't even have time to shower much these days, much less walk, or eat a healthy meal, or write.

But I'm here.

See, I have a job.

And it's important.

And it involves hours and hours of organizing other people's accumulated stuff. And I'm okay with it, because I'm employed and it keeps me off the streets. I'm shacked up in my parents' guesthouse and helping my mom move out of her old office and into another one. And actually there are no streets, per say, 5 miles from a town of 5000 people, precisely where I am. But there are dirt roads. So my job keeps me off of those. Because they're so tempting in the dead of winter. Out here, it seems like I'm a million fashionable miles away from the world of Sex and the City, and maybe that's okay. It's just me and the wind.

Since I'm tired, you won't get any long, heavy thing likely until after the new year starts. Maybe that's for the best. But I did watch an episode. Well, four episodes, actually, with my sister and mom. What can I say? We just couldn't stop; it was so addicting, and my sister was baking cookies.

The episode of this post centered on an important topic: whether "faking" that a bad relationship is good is better or worse than being single. The girls of course decide that flying solo wins, which is how it should be. But I know I've done some faking in my day (hell, at least I didn't marry either of the two guys), and I understand why--or rather how--it can happen. More than tired of being alone, I was tired of being disappointed--tired of looking for what I was looking for. So I pretended I had found it. And it's as simple as that. I didn't really know I was pretending at the time. I just thought I would grow to have the feelings that weren't initially there. But in those cases, I always knew I didn't love him. I knew that in my heart, as do most people when it comes to such a gut emotion like love. It's just a matter of listening to that and owning up to it. I didn't want to. Until I did.

That's all I've got for today. I'm sorry. But I can barely see what I'm typing. While it feels REALLY good to work again and see a paycheck, I have also learned some very important things over the past few days from observing what I don't want to be.

1. I will never be devoted to my career at the expense of my family and friends. While the former is important, the latter make life a joy and are absolutely indispensable.

2. I will never have a career that requires me to take sleeping pills or uppers. If you think I'm joking, read up on the number one group of people who abuses drugs. Yep. Good ol' doctors. (Nothing like making enemies with both of your parents and significant other in less than fifty words.)

3. I will always make time for exercise (even if it's just walking the dog) and eating a good meal that I cooked.

That's all for now, but those are biggies. Maybe there will be more. They say never to say never or always, so maybe I'll regret doing it. But how could I regret those statements?

Good night. Hope you'll be back. I will. (Maybe with a better outfit, a few more hours of sleep, and a little more of interest to say.)