Day 14: Here's to Hope

A version of this outfit, which I'm calling "A Weekend Away," is pretty much what I wear everyday. I am a jeans girl. I love them. If I had twenty days to live, I'd spend them all in jeans. Actually, I have pretty much been doing just that, considering this is the fifth day IN A ROW that I have worn my Lucky skinny jeans. Eek. I think they're actually starting to smell. What can I say? The dryer in our apartment complex has been broken for a week, and they're my best (relatively) clean pair.

I'm all for seriousness, but for the last post, I think I actually got into some zen state where I was trying to connect to the breakup girl inside of me. I don't recommend doing that often. It's not a happy place. I was also (surprise) alone in the house and feeling a little broodish, so I'm going to try keep this one a bit lighter. It's always a tough thing to balance for me.

Episode two of season two centers around the following question: Are there some things that shouldn't be said in a relationship? After just witnessing a vicious fight between her friend, Sharon, and Sharon's husband, Carrie tells her to leave the bastard. Much to Carrie's surprise, Sharon follows the advice, only to crash on Carrie's couch and talk constantly about how the guy really has a sweet side. Carrie and the ladies decide on one thing a person should never say to a friend: "Leave your partner." If the friend leaves, she will be miserable and blame you. If she stays, she will know you disapprove and never want to talk to you again. Only Charlotte strays from the idea that some things should remain unspoken. She thinks honesty's the best policy, always. Good ol' Charlotte.

Hmmm....

Fine lines, folks. In the case of relationship advice for friends, if the friend's partner is abusive, I think you HAVE to say something. Otherwise, what the hell are friends for? But beyond that, Carrie, Miranda, and Samantha are probably right. People need to decide for themselves, and no one but the couple really knows what's going on in the relationship--and thus whether it needs to end. Lord knows, I've always had enough trouble deciding if my own relationships are worth staying in, much less other peoples'.

At the end of the episode, in an impulsive phone call, Carrie invites Big to her birthday party. He had sent her flowers (actually his secretary had sent them, perhaps by accident, we'll never really know) and she wanted to say thank you. Yeah, yeah, whatever, Carrie. Big hits the party...and stays...too long for the gals' liking. Carrie and Big then proceed to have an awkward walk from the restaurant, where little of importance is said. Carrie decides the one thing she can't tell him is that she still cares for him. So, they say goodbye, who knows for how long. On the cheery side, at least Carrie didn't end the night in tears.

Frustrating. This is where a part of me is a little tired of romantic comedies. Many of them, SATC included, have one dramatic element in common: a bunch of moments where both lovers want to say or do something but just don't--a situation the romantic viewer can't get enough of. I used to be a romantic, and I think I still am. So why do I have the urge to say, "Come on, people, aren't relationships hard enough without open communication? Maybe I just think honestly is romantic.

As a child, I was taught--not just by movies and books but by my parents as well--the conservative, stoic approach to relationships. The lesson (unspoken, of course)? Some things are better left unsaid. You don't have to tell your partner what you're thinking, and not everything has to be talked about--actually it's preferable if it isn't. Consequently, I have been living this theory most of my life. If the sex was subpar in a relationship, I said nothing. If I was upset, I tried to keep it in. Even if I was worried about whether the person was cheating on me or not, I just tried to not make a big deal about it. Then, as I slowly blossomed into the big-mouthed, opinionated gal I am today, I decided that keeping things in is a monumental waste of time. I mean, if I'm not going to tell my partner my inner life, who the hell am I going to tell? Then the flood gates opened.....

Now I think I may be bordering on 'too much information.' When Hank asks about an ex, I go into complete disclosure mode, like I'm overcompensating for all of the clamming up I've done. If he wants to know what I dreamed about, and it happened to involve a tall, dark, handsome stranger and passionate kissing, I tell him. After countless discussions about what it all means and feeling extremely guilty for days, I am starting to re-think the wisdom of this. I'm beginning to wonder if a little secrecy now and then ever really hurt anyone. I mean I could just say I don't remember. That's a pretty good conversation stopper. That would keep Hank from experiencing jealousy and me from enduring unnecessary questioning. But Hank says he wants to know, even now. What's a girl to do? So I tell him. Who knows if that's a good thing or not. Sometimes I can hear my mother's advice ("Just keep your mouth shut!") ringing in my ears....

In job news, I had a great interview the other day with a company I would really like to work for. It was for a stylist position centered around helping brides pick out their wedding dresses. The position would have involved fashion decisions AND blogging! Woo-hoo! I say "would have," because I didn't get it. But I refuse to get down about this. I am choosing to renew my belief in hope as a powerful tool of fortune. My Dad thinks I should just work construction. I am not joking. So here's to hope.

I'm keeping this post short (and yes, this is short), to compensate for my marathon one from the other day.

P.S. I got black booties in the mail yesterday (the evil Cyber Monday purchase) and am breaking them in. If it works (and the rim stops digging into my shin), I will keep them and fight whoever tries to rip them from my hands. Just a head's up.